Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with brands mentioned in the post. Nor, have I been paid, received compensation, or any free products. I am sharing for educational purposes only.Nor is this an endorsement of stated products.
About two years ago now, I started to write a series of blog posts about my journey to wearing Arizona Braces, my current pair. My apologies, however, life circumstances got in the way of continuing the posts, causing me to forget to continue the series. The circumstances were all good, just was busier than I’d planned. In case you missed it, here is a link to the previous post, My Journey to Using Arizona Braces.
My first pair of braces, made back in 2000, were made of heavy plastic with a hinge at the ankles to allow some movement and velcro straps to keep them tight on my legs. The braces fit into a good brand of walking shoes, such as Rockport, but a size to size and a half larger than I would normally wear. I wore the typical tube or athletic socks that went to my knees. Yup, oh my word, I looked like a geek… more than I ever wanted!
I wore these style braces for several years. I learned that pulling leg warmers over them in the winter helped warm my feet and legs. Yes, my word, another period of geekiness that I’d never share unless it was to benefit someone. Also, I had to have them rebuilt more than a few times because my Deep Water Aerobic classes caused the leg muscles to get bigger. The doctor who created my braces didn’t seem to be on board with the fact that my legs were getting stronger with muscles growing, too. Though the concept and purpose of these braces work for a time.
However, I got to a point when I was tired of the plastic braces bracing my legs so annoyingly every day. To remedy or relieve this, I wouldn’t wear them in the evenings, some Saturdays- depending on activity level, and all day on Sundays. This provided relief from the discomfort of the braces. The discomfort is something that some might call a “necessary evil.” I needed the braces to walk throughout my day, but the evil is when the discomfort sets in. If you think about it, you can work around the discomfort.
To my surprise, the muscles in my legs continued to get bigger as I continued to do my Deep Water Aerobics. Eventually, this led to a third new pair of braces. However, this would be the last, as the doctor wasn’t on board with the replacement of the braces.
After a while, the braces weren’t fitting again, but I had become unhappy with wearing them. After all, they were a pain to put on and, after several hours, a discomfort to wear. It was time for a break. So I did.
What can help a Charcot-Marie-Tooth guy who doesn’t want to stop enjoying life, but definitely needs some assistance? A good, but a bit expensive, pair of sturdy hiking boots. After doing some research and chatting with a few people, like my chiropractor, I found hiking boots offer quite a bit of stability. This became a dream come true! No braces!
My first pair of hiking boots were made by Asolo. Since they did not have the men’s size I needed, I bought the equivalent size of a woman’s. Since you couldn’t really tell the difference in styles between a man’s pair and a woman’s pair, it made no difference. The stability of this brand kept me going for several years, replacing them as they wore out.
Yes, earlier this year, I celebrated my 60th birthday, and am so happy to have reached this milestone in my life! I know, you think I am a bit crazy, right? Well, no, not really. I could get all depressed about getting another year older, but that’s a negative way of looking at things, especially the blessings in your life.
God doesn’t promise us another minute or day in this life. Every minute of every day that I live, I am thankful. It’s a gift God has given me. Sometimes, I wish I’d done more in my life, such as working in a management position in my career. Frankly, Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) would have prevented me from being the best I would need to be to work in that type of role. However, I was able to work a career at the highest level that I was comfortable with and have a pension to retire. They say, I could have worked longer and made more money. I say I have had too much fun in retirement with my wife, dog, and cat to trade it for more money.
Another point for me, at 60, I am still walking. Yes, I wear braces for any distance passed a 1/2 mile. Sometimes, when I am walking on unfamiliar surfaces or known challenging terrain, I will use a cane to help with balance. However, I am not confined to a wheelchair as was the original prognosis when I was in my twenties. Sometimes, it is a bit painful to walk, but, the moments of walking with my dog are absolutely priceless, and I wouldn’t give them up for anything.
In a few weeks, my wife and I are taking off on a short trip to celebrate my 60th birthday. We’ll head to the infamous Horseshoe Curve National Historic Landmark, Altoona, PA, as well as some smaller towns, Lilly, Cresson, and the Portage area where I will photograph and video trains. Our meals will be at our favorite places, Texas Roadhouse and Perkins. Since neither are located near us now, we enjoy them when we can. We did this trip a few years ago and enjoyed ourselves.
My wife bought me three bluebird houses that I have had my eyes on for a while. I enjoy watching birds. Now that I own some land, I am converting part of the yard back to nature which will include a bluebird house trail. She knows my love for nature so she wanted to celebrate my 60th in a big way.
Though God told me He would be my strength and ability if I just trusted in Him, I never dreamed that He would make me so happy at sixty years old doing more than I imagined.
So happy birthday to me. I’m happy how God has blessed me to live this long in life.
Happy Father’s Day! I hope you are enjoying time with your father or someone who has been like a father to you in your life.
I created the special “Father’s Day” graphic to remember my father this Father’s Day! One of his favorite events to attend was the Washington D.C. Auto Show held at the Washington D.C. Convention Center every January. It was three levels of nothing but new cars, pickup trucks, SUVs, mini-SUVs, and the like.
As a young boy, Dad would take us every year to the show when it was held between Christmas and New Year’s Day. Along with that was a trip to McDonald’s and a hobby shop to look for train models.
As I grew older, our trip changed as it was moved to the end of January. The hobby shop had closed years ago, and my interests had changed too. I would take the day off from work and go every year with my father to the new car show. After the car show, we would head to Tower Records, which had the best classical music CD selection anywhere. We always came home with our arms loaded with information on new cars and, of course, new CDs to add to our collections and listen to while going through the new car material… again.
As a man with Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT), those trips were challenging and often very painful on my feet. And, I would always end the day in lots of pain, never failed. However, I never told my father that. I’m guessing he had an idea, but we never really discussed it. I didn’t want him to know because the day always meant something special to him.
While we were never able to toss the football together or do some of the sports activities like other fathers and sons did. However, we went to car shows, went on steam locomotive rides, enjoyed hot rod car shows, and did many other activities like those instead.
As I’ve gotten older, getting around suburban areas like Washington, D.C., has become more difficult, and the pain has increased. When the Car Show commercial comes on TV each January, I think how nice it would be to go again with my father.
I miss Dad. While I have thought about going to the Car Show with someone else, it is a matter of distance now that I’ve moved to the country. And, it really would not be the same without Dad.
I think baseball caps are one of the greatest inventions! If you have trouble getting comfortable from irritating nerves and keeping warm during cooler or cold weather, you might learn to love baseball caps too.
As you may know, Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT), as well as neuropathy and other diseases can make colder weather almost impossible to be comfortable. For me, when I get cold, my nerves begin to go, what I like to call, haywire. It often feels like I am starting to get cold. However, it is a nerve cold feeling rather than actually cold. The problem happens in warm weather too when I have been in air conditioning too long. Or, when I walk down the grocery refrigeration aisle. I have to completely stay away from those huge refrigeration units such as those at Costco. Sitting in front of an air-conditioning vent or wall unit will cause problems too.
Years ago now, I was dealing with my body feeling very uncomfortable all the time in the winter months. From a physical standpoint, there wasn’t much I could do about it as it’s a symptom of CMT. I found that I could wear a lightweight T-shirt and shorts around the house to ease the clothing discomfort but definitely not outside in winter. When I went out, I wore the typical shirt and khakis, but I needed something else.
At first, I tried wearing a knit hat but it turned to be itchy and hot. Too much for my comfort. Also, it felt odd wearing a knit hat indoors. And, hat head was horrible, especially since I tend to allow my hair to grow long in the colder months. It would stick straight up, which was embarrassing in those moments when I would want to take it off inside a building.
Not long after, I began wearing baseball caps. I quickly learned that the baseball cap kept my head warm, kept cool breezes off my head, and settled my nerves down too. I began a journey of being comfortable when going outside in the cold weather. It helped with the indoor chills too.
However, a few problems arise from wearing baseball hats especially indoors. I hadn’t given much thought to the fact that wearing baseball caps indoors is against proper manners. A few elderly people let me know that it was rude. Since I am not one to be rude, nor to insult others, this bothered me. However, there became a choice I had to make, either I wore the hats when I went out, inside and outside as needed, or I quit socializing and going out to places where it could be a problem. I determined that it was best for me to explain to those elderly people close to me why I have the need to wear the baseball caps. That never really settled the problem for some of them but I wanted to do it to be polite.
Another annoyance with baseball caps is they smush my hair! There are times when I can take off the hat and be comfortable. However, the most annoying problem with them is “hat-head!” So, I don’t look like someone who just crawled out of hibernation, I try to fluff my hair, get my wife to look at it, making myself somewhat presentable.
Today, I wear baseball hats, inside and outside, from the first beginning of cooler weather until it gets too hot and uncomfortable. I have noticed when I am at home, I can be more comfortable wearing a baseball hat.
Buy baseball caps which represent YOU. For me, when I wear something, it needs to represent me. So, baseball caps that have stupid or rude quotes or sayings on them, do not work for me. I won’t wear something that says “I’m with Stupid!” or “Stupid is with me” or anything profane or vulgar. Not only is that not my style, what if I happen to be out, need a cap and the only one handy has the quote, “I’m with Stupid” and I’m with my wife. Never would I say that nor imply it so why own it. Also, I’m not a walking billboard for some company so I steer clear of those unless its a hobby or a clothing label I like to wear that has a clean-styled baseball hat.
A collection of baseball caps. Over the years, I have managed to collect hundreds of baseball caps. Some of them are plain which I keep handy for those days when I am walking my dog or doing some household chore which could get the hat messed up. Those hats are ones that have been given to me at some event or something. A buddy got a free cap at some computer event he attended.
Most of my baseball hat collection consists of hats from places I have been, the Great Smoky Mountains, Shenandoah National Park, Iceland, Alaska, Africa, and the list goes on. I have an interest in railroading and its history, so I have a few hats with railroading logos.
I am passionate about God, dogs, and cats. My hat collection representing my faith in God is a bit limited right now. This is mostly because I am very picky about design and quotes of the Christian faith. I look for something very creative which has a quote I can support or believe without question. When I was younger, some men wore Christian hats which were the nerdiest geeky designs with awful quotes. To me, there were an awful representation of a awesome God. I look for something powerful.
If you know me or were to meet me, it would become quite evident that I have a strong passion for dogs and cats. I had a dog for nearly twelve years that helped me more than I can explain in this post with my health problems. He became a best friend. I have learned to love cats too, and to let them love me when they feel like it. I have a few hats with the quotes, “Woof” and “Meow” which I proudly wear.
I stay away from hats with quotes for causes or politics. I typically don’t wear hats with quotes or logos or designs on them which represent a cause or anything political. I am not interested in chatting with someone I don’t know about my views and thoughts on a particular cause or issue. Nor do I care to bring attention to myself. Why? I am doing my best to walk to wherever I am going and get done whatever I’ve set out to do. I cannot stand in one place for very long without some pain or discomfort. I don’t care to do that and bring it on myself. If I want to express my thoughts on a cause or issue, there are other places to do it which may reach a wider audience.
Colors… I used to be very interested in wearing what was in style and making all the colors match or at least not be too awful to look at. For those occasions when I want to be sure I look presentable, I have a few hats in colors that will match something I’d wear to a social event or church. Today, I’m colorful, love everything as colorful as possible, so I’m not quite as picky about which I wear.
To mesh or not has become the first question when purchasing a hat. Mesh? It’s the plastic backing used to make the back of a baseball cap. Many hats are made this way, but, there are some with a cloth backing. I tend to like the cloth ones better because they don’t make me look like Elmer Fudd or someone with a huge forehead that I am trying to cover up with a hat.
Cold? Trying to just be comfortable from all the nerve issues, try baseball caps.
“Professional Massage Therapist” Photo by Ryutaro Tsukata
To my disappointment, I have to begin the challenging journey again to find a massage therapist. It’s been around five years since I had to do this. In the nearly twenty years that I have been using massage therapy for Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT), this will be my fourth therapist.
I began using massage therapy to help with muscle cramping, muscular and nerve discomfort, and what I call constricting – it feels like something is drawing the muscle together causing awful pain particularly in the feet. The therapy has proven to be effective in keeping me moving and enjoying life. Since I have been seeing a massage therapist, the pain has reduced nearly eighty-five hundred percent. However, I confess this has been because I have a session every three weeks. I saw my first therapist every week for several weeks, maybe even months until I got comfortable with every two weeks. Then, it was a gradual move to three weeks. Currently, I am still at every three weeks but I am aiming for four weeks with the new therapist.
First and foremost, when I look for a massage therapist, I am looking for someone who is certified medical massage therapist. I do not want a pleasure massage which you can book at a spa, beauty salons, gyms, and the like. While most of those are great for those who need it, I need the professional trained in medical massage, more specifically Deep Tissue Massage.
A recent consideration I had to make was whether I wanted to meet with a male or a female massage therapist. This time, I gave it some thought because there is a male massage therapist in a local town who is supposed to be one of the best massage therapists in the area. I have always used a female massage therapist as I find them willing to listen to my needs to help me accomplish them. Also, until I saw this guy listed with a local shop, there weren’t any male massage therapists with any reviews. For me, I decided I would consider him if the others didn’t work out. It’s really your comfort level or preferences.
An important consideration is how far I want to drive to the massage therapist’s practice. Where I live, it isn’t uncommon to drive a distance for products and services. However, there is always a “traffic factor” in going anywhere. Since driving isn’t a favorite pastime anymore, I decided to try and find someone as close to me as possible. Also, in my experience, I can be very wiped out and sore after a massage session. Therefore, driving becomes a even more of a challenge that I do not enjoy. Since I am retired, it’s easier to make appointments to miss the traffic.
Doing an internet search and asking your medical professional may provide some good leads on a massage therapist. Be aware that many primary care physicans aren’t very supportive of massage therapists and their work. Part of it is the lack of documentation for its benefits.
My first question when speaking with a person is whether they are certified to perform medical massage therapy specifically the “Deep Tissue Massage.” Also, I will share a little bit about why I need it. Since I don’t care to go into a lot of details on the phone, I’ll typically share that I have a form of muscular dystrophy with which massage has helped me live comfortably. If the person seems like they may be someone I can consider, they will ask more questions and I will share more with them. I have had a few candidates tell me they aren’t the therapist for me. Also, I like to ask about their licensing and credentials. Are they should be willing to learn more about their trade too? A good massage therapist should be always learning or taking classes to improve their skills.
When I find someone who might work out, I will share that I have CMT along with as much detail as I am comfortable sharing. Also, I will share the www.cmtausa.org website which has an abundance of information which can help the therapist. I shared that I have Type 1a. Not only does it allow the therapist to learn about you, but it also helps you to learn about them. If they are willing to go on the website and learn about you, that says quite a bit about their professional interest in helping you.
I have found someone I am considering and made an appointment. This is only the first step. A professional massage therapist will have some paperwork for you to complete. They will probably go over your phone conversation again highlighting important information to clarify anything they have questions about.
The session begins. The session can be done with you being unclothed or dressed in your comfort level. Comfort level means to shorts or your underwear or what you might deem most comfortable. For me, I prefer unclothed because it provides less hinderances for the therapist to do their work. Also, clothing is uncomfortable for me which I will explain in future posts. Anyway, I view the person as a medical professional which means they will handle nudity as my medical doctor would. Anyway, I am always draped, and privacy has always been their concern.
During the session, pay attention to pain and any discomfort. The therapist will benefit from you letting them know if the pressure they apply or some spot they hit or some muscle touched is painful. I must say, this is the challenging part for me. I have lived with so much pain in life, and pretty much ignored it, that I feel a bit awkward pointing it out. However, it is to my benefit for me to do so.
After the session. In my experience, the therapist will ask “how are you feeling” or any issues or some such. For me, that’s a hard question to answer. My pain and discomfort, usually an overwhelming tiredness, will not become apparent until later in the day or the next day. I will explain that and be certain to note any discomfort or issues I think the therapist should know about to share in the next session.
A few further thoughts. To me, it is important to be comfortable with the person you are selecting to do the massage. Frankly, you’ll be nude for the hour or so of your appointment. Being nude with a medical professional requires a bit of trust. While I haven’t had any emergency to arise during a session, I think it’s important that you are comfortable with the person possibly seeing you nude despite all good intentions or efforts to prevent that. If you are someone completely uncomfortable with that idea, then stay away from being nude. A work around can be figured out. Franky, when I first started massage therapy, I wondered what would happen if there was a fire or some explosion. I can’t run out of the building without clothes, and it is possible the therapist would see me without them. So, we talked about a plan. Silly? Naw, not really.
Keep a journal of how you feel, what hurts and when, after the massage therapy appointment and during the time leading up to the next appointment. Bullet points will suffice provided you can remember what they mean when referencing them later. For me, a journal proved to be priceless for several reasons. One, I get busy in life and may forgot important points to share with the massage therapist. And, two, it helps to provide points for the therapist to work with. Finally, it will be fun to look back and see how much you have improved physically.
“Icy Sidewalk” Photo by Jackie at Flickr Creative Commons
Oh, ice. It is a horrible substance which can cause serious injury to our bodies without our even trying. The first “Winter Weather Advisory” of the season appeared in the forecast a few weeks ago. This alerted me to cancel my evening plans and anything the next day – unless it’s something I can wait and see what the weather really does.
Having Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) allows me to have adventures beyond my wildest imagination or dreams. Walking in snow, or attempting to do so on icy surfaces, creates quite a bit of challenges for me. Also, it is a season in which I practice patience hoping to grow in that trait more by spring.
If you find yourself in an icy situation, there is a trick that learned which I hope will help you too. Also, there are a few important considerations to remember.
Your feet are cold whether you know it or not. This is a thought which I drudge up every season when the cold weather settles in. It’s not intended to be negative but to remind myself to pay attention. Neuropathy can be tricky. Often, I find myself busying about my life without regard to how cold my feet might be. When, in reality and some circumstances, my feet are cold. Now, this is a different type of cold. It’s called nerve cold. Be sure to bundle up for the weather. By that, I mean you should determine what you should wear to stay warm paying attention to the weather.
Walking on ice isn’t something that can easily be done. For me, my feet move in a manner that makes slippery surfaces much more dangerous than for others. When approaching an area which is icy or could be slippery, I stop walking. Keep in mind, I tend to look ahead when walking to keep from ending up in these situations. Sometimes, it doesn’t work. If there’s no easy way to get around it, I focus on myself trying to make sure I’m not feeling rushed, stressed or anxious which could cause me to do something stupid or to fall.
Once I have assessed myself and I am ready to move, I began counting. Yes, counting. 1, 2, 3, 4… When I feel like I am ready to move, I take a step restarting my count at one. As I step, each step with a different foot is counted. I continue counting until I have gotten past the icy or difficult spot. Also, I focus on the counting. Do not allow your mind to wander or be distracted. If you focus on counting each step, it should allow you to safely get across the ice. This trick works with walking on water too.
Remember to breathe as you take your steps and walk through the icy area. It doesn’t do any good to hold your breath while attempting to walk over the ice. I found myself more than a few times holding my breathe while doing this- that’s typical for someone exercising or trying something new like this.
If you make it across the ice without falling, be sure to congratulate yourself! Sound silly? No, it really isn’t. I have learned that when I congratulate myself for even the smallest accomplishment, it is encouraging in the long run of life.
Patience? When I mention about how difficult it is for me to walk on ice and snow, it is usually because I am embarrassed about my lack of ability to do so. It often feels like a circus show that I didn’t intend to do. Invariably, someone will say that it is a challenge for EVERYONE to walk in it. I laugh to myself and think, should I share about my feet being crippled and how they move funny? Or, should I let it go and work on my patience in dealing with others? I usually let it go since there usually isn’t any advantage to sharing. And, they wouldn’t understand. By spring you’d think I’d be the most patient man on the planet. Don’t count on it.
Thankfully, it has been years since I have gone shopping on Black Friday. When I was first married, we were watching our pennies as most young newly married couples do. We paid attention to the Black Friday sales to get a few items we wanted. I’ll never forget the crowds, nor will I forget us shoving a computer and monitor in their large boxes into a Honda Civic. We’ve gone Black Friday shopping a few other times, but they weren’t quite as funny as that first one.
As I have aged, Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) has progressed, which means life becomes more challenging. As it does, walking and some neurological aspects become more of a challenge. The walking meant it was getting harder for me to get around much less go shopping in a crowded store or mall. I didn’t understand the nerve issues of CMT until much later in life, frankly a few years ago. I would be nervous or keyed up whenever I was in crowds. However, I was a bit stubborn and would push myself to do the Christmas shopping.
Since I didn’t want my family and friends to be disappointed with no gift from me at Christmas, and online shopping didn’t exist, I had to determine a way to accomplish the task of gift-buying.
First, I do my absolute very best to get all of my Christmas shopping done VERY early.I start shopping early in the year by buying gifts whenever I see something I think someone would like. I would do my best to get all the shopping done before Thanksgiving. As I grew older, time got busier, it became a bit challenging to get it done before Thanksgiving. With that being said, I determined a way to get it done.
Make a list of gifts to purchase and where to buy them. I determined whether I could buy all the gifts at one store or at a mall with several stores or even all at one mall. I made sure to write all of this down on a piece of paper so I wouldn’t forget whenever I ended up going out shopping. These days, there are probably apps for that which can replace the piece of paper. There were a few times when I would end up going somewhere with a friend and I could get some shopping done.
I have a habit of determining when stores, and parking lots, are the least busy. I like to determine when I would likely be able to get in and out of stores and parking lots without much stress avoiding crowds would be awesome. This turned out to be during lunch hours, immediately after work (though on Fridays that never worked), or very early Saturday morning.
Also, would it be possible to go with friends who could help with the driving in the crazy parking lots or help carry stuff if needed.
Using these, I would get the Christmas shopping done. It was a bit more enjoyable since I avoided the stresses of crowds and trying to find a parking spot.
Of course, these days, the best way for me to shop is online. I rarely go shopping these days.
Undoubtedly, you have heard on television, the radio, in publications you read, and from charities, you support about “Giving Tuesday!” It is a global movement to encourage giving to charities and to your community. The idea is to inspire and encourage generosity throughout the world even after “Giving Tuesday!”
Giving can be financially or giving of yourself. Financially would be to make a monetary donation to an organization that shares your interest. It can be a one-time gift or an ongoing one, whichever works best for you. Giving of yourself is the idea of giving of yourself to help others. It could be providing rides to the doctor for a neighbor, doing grocery shopping for a senior citizen, picking up medications for a neighbor, volunteering at the local animal shelter, or helping with a fundraiser. Maybe you know someone with Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) or other health issues which cause them challenges who could use some help. The list can go on and on with many ideas for you to give back to your community.
(C) 2022, WPER Radio
I would like to bring to your attention an organization that does phenomenal work in encouraging people in our community. It never fails to encourage me when I’m doing my chores around the house, running my errands while listening to WPER Radio 89.9 FM- Virginia’s Home for Encouragement. We can all use encouragement, good music, and inspirational stories along life’s way. To donate, please visit WPER-Donate.
Two other organizations that I would like to mention are Charcot-Marie-Tooth Association and the Hereditary Neuropathy Foundation. These two organizations do a considerable amount of research about Charcot-Marie-Tooth doing their best to help patients with the health issue. These two organizations are awesome resources that, if you haven’t already, should become familiar with.
Remember, giving should come from your heart. Also, sometimes people think they can’t give financially, though they would like to do so, because they do not have large sums of money. Whatever amount you can donate, small or large, is worth donating. It is simply good to give.
Thanksgiving brings to mind many things in life for which I am thankful. Although I try to remember to be thankful every day, it’s good to have a day to focus on it.
I am very thankful for God and His Love for me. Ever since I became a Christian many years ago, I have seen God’s Work in my life in every situation even at times when I wouldn’t think He would do so. I am thankful that His Gift of Salvation that guarantees me, and everyone else who believes, eternal life in heaven.
I am thankful for my wife of twenty-six years. She has been an awesome help with my Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) battles and a wonderful companion to spend life with. Only God could prepare a woman like her to be the right companion for me.
I am thankful for my dog, Abby, and my cat, Samson. Abby is a young black labrador retriever who keeps me going. As I will share more details in another post, having a dog to care for every day has helped me to be successful in staying a step ahead of CMT. My cat has had his role too. Many evenings when I head to bed, my cat will curl up on my shoulder and purr. Somehow, he seems to know when I need some extra purrings and goes into an amazing-sounding purr mode. It usually helps me to relax.
Today, at 59-1/2 years old, I am thankful to be alive, walking, and enjoying life. The original diagnosis of CMT, lead me to believe that things could be very different at this age. In some ways, it is, but God has blessed me to keep going forward in life. For that I am thankful.
However you are celebrating today, remember to be thankful for the many blessings in your life. Take the time to enjoy family and friends too. They are the most important aspects of your life.
Time truly does fly! It seems like only yesterday that I said “I do!” to the most beautiful woman in the universe surrounded by our friends and family. But, it wasn’t yesterday. It was twenty-six years ago!
Last night I said, “Marriage isn’t for the faint of heart.” Why? It is a constant challenge to take care of someone you love through good times and bad times. There are a lot of good times, but along with that come life events that can be very challenging causing strains and stresses. We have had our share of life events seeing each other through health challenges, the loss of family members, career changes, the loss of pets, and so on. However, that doesn’t mean we love each other any less. As a matter of fact, those events help make our love for each other stronger.
I have to admit, when I was dating, I didn’t think I would ever find a woman to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I found that many women want a man with a strong muscular body which is something Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) didn’t allow me to have. It became very discouraging, to say the least. I remember one girl who said behind my back “I want a man with a real body!” Yup, that hurt. I wish I could say that she was the only person to mark that remark or similar ones.
The best advice I can give to someone who has CMT and looking to get married is to share everything single thing about the disease with the other person. Share what you know especially your personal experiences. Share what you have read providing them copies of all your reference materials, and direct them to all websites you find informative and encourage them to research on their own as well. If you belong to any support groups on social media like Facebook, share it too. I can’t emphasize enough to share, share, and share your own experiences and what you learned from your doctors. Why? So there are no surprises should the symptoms or issues develop after you are married. Granted, remember CMT affects everybody so there is no guarantee you will experience what you share.
Before I proposed, and after a good bit into our relationship but before it got serious, I shared with the girl I was dating, and possibly going to marry, the prognosis the doctor provided me. Also, I shared information I had researched at the National Institutes of Health with a buddy. I was surprised that it didn’t scare her off. Twenty-six years later, we are still happily married.
Basically, it comes down to this: the person you are going to marry must understand that CMT is what many people call an invisible disease, except for the hands and feet, and there are times when your symptoms are beyond another person’s understanding. The most challenging is when opposite symptoms are happening but are true. An example, I’m cold but I’m hot. For me, that means my feet and lower legs are cold but the rest of me is warm.
And, to her credit, I am healthier being married to her than I might be as single because she has provided many ideas and suggestions on how to take care of myself. Her encouragement along the way has been incredible. Also, it’s a huge blessing to have someone around who truly loves you.
